Tiny Tidbits of Madness Part 4

I studied cosmology for 4 years before I realized there was no mention of make- up or hair styling. I saw the movir "Superfly", and didn't understand why they never even showed a zipper! I wanted Lasix surgery- but, due to being stupid, I wound up with Latex surgery; now I have "boobs". I love movies- and had my heros- and I was classified a "copy cat". But I got tired of the hair balls in my throat. I'm probably the only one who considered suicide by H-bomb. I ordered a "Blair" catalogue, expecting a book about witches. I had a car I nicknamed "Flattery" 'cause it got me nowhere. Ever notice that some hospitals have a "detox" ward? Does that mean that somewhere there's a "tox" ward? I'm a musician-I've been, for years, trying to join a "Rubber Band". Guess that's a stretch, huh? My house is so messy, I don't remember the color of my carpet. I used to be a department store buyer. But I could never afford to buy stores. I suffered from chronic pain for years. Then I got divorced. All this talk about "role models"- boy- just go to the bakery! I have a very high IQ- but in my case it means "Idiot Quota". Someone once scolded me about my self-depreication. I replied-"It's better than self defecation!" Everytime I went to the psych ward I signed in as "Randall P. McMurphy" true! confused? see "One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest". Russian? I don't know, they seem to move pretty slow to me. Napoleon Bonaparte? I don't know, I've had a number of Napoleons from various bakeries; I never found any bones. I guess the Nazis must'a needed a lot of underarm deodorant. Cell phone? I don't know- seems like being in prison is hardly worth it. If we capture Osama Bin Laden, instead of death, I'd make him watch Billy Mays commercials 24/7. (Too gruesome to even think of!) Jock itch is a bit_h. Glad I'm not a "jock". Wars never end, they just change names. I once spent a winter in my old home, alone- no heat, no gas, no phone,no food,sometimes no electricity. Ever have your underwear frozen fast to your body? True!! Well, my friends, till we meet again! Here's to Soup!