The Unforgettable Rant From a Drunk Lady Contest

It is five minutes to two I don’t know what to do It looks like I'm the last person this evening before you close But can I have another, and possibly a minute to expose You must get this often you’re really sweet Cute as a button, to bad I don’t cheat You see I am procrastinating to get back to my house I live with a man; no he is not my spouse Five long years, do you care that I share Oh hun, watch out a flies in your hair But seriously, it’s bad; we fight all the time I haven’t the courage to tell him I am sick of his kind Do you have a woman? oh you must you’re so cute So what do you think should I give him the boot? Oh and work is getting to me, my boss in always on my case Sir what’s your name again? you have a mighty fine face Can I get one more? that will be all Good thing I live down the block in case I trip and fall Can I give you some advice; you should finish your degree You don’t belong here at this hour serving me Last year I went away, when I got back I caught him cheating I gave this guy one serious beating Oh look it is raining Am I complaining? I know it’s time to move on But it’s hard when someone is finally gone Do you work every night? Could you lower the lights? I am getting a headache Last night I went to a wake It was my Coworkers sons, girlfriends, Aunt, I am sorry did I just go on a rant? What are you doing after work? You must think I am a jerk OH NO here come the tears!!! Sir, it’s been so many painful years, Why can’t I just leave him? What is wrong with me? can I get just one more, my glass is empty, Wait, what are you doing? Is that coffee I smell brewing? Are you shutting the bar down? I see no one is around in this town, OH no I just dropped the glass on the ground Boy!!! that made a really loud sound Let me pick that up I’ll buy you a new cup That’s all I seem to do, clean and cook, I deserve better right? I read it in Dr.Phil's new book, Sir, where are you going? Did you tell me your name? OH I don’t feel well, can I puke in your drain? Much better, oops sorry, I made a mess This was a new dress, Thanks for listening, Did I tell you you’re cute? I bet you make a tone of loot My man has no job and he wonders why I'm a bitter snob Ok Im leaving, its late my new friend, what did you say your name was again? I want your number, Let me get a pen Oh no my purse fell all over the floor Sir Sir, did you just slam the door? “I am not a sir, I am a Woman, and you need to Go the hell Home!!! ” By: SNK Contest: wriiten 10/21/11