The Task of Happy

How to be happy is a complicated task A question I continuously seem to ask I have been questioned from time to time “What makes you happy” but nothing comes to mind I pause to think, what do I really say? What makes me happy is making someone else’s day. But when I think about what I just said, I had an epiphany and felt a little dread Why am I putting everyone first? How do I change this? I’ve been this way since birth I ponder the changes I need to make. The task of happy I need to brake Why am I afraid of taring down my guard Why is the feeling of happiness so hard? Self sabotage is a tactic I to use If I get to close to that feeling, it’s like a burning fuse Waiting for that moment to blow up in my face Running out of fear of disappointment, I escape from that place The task of happy should not be a chore So I reach deep into my soul, down to my core In order to be happy and stay in that place It isn’t putting yourself second just to save face If I truly love to make others happy, I need to be happy first The rest will be effortless and stop thinking the worst Enjoy every moment for what they are For those are future memories to think back on from a far