The Scattering That Comes With Painful Impossibility.

Morning light and time breathing, he slipped himself underneath me as daylight broke, I fought tears, I fought him, I fought myself and life happened in the midst of refusal... I fumbled in my pockets for pieces of him when the puzzle of me scattered, I watched months become rich with memories and curls tangle themselves into shadows against the moon, I yanked out promises as my elbows bruised and wished my mouth had been sewn shut as my jeans could erase the treasures that were left by his fingerprints... Letting go of me and I forced myself to reach too far, I challenged my beliefs for the taste of him, for the taste of a smile when my eyes were wet with the tears I refused to let fall and I fell, underneath him, on a Sunday, in June, when we spoke too softly for the sun to hear us and I don't think summer ever knew I was waiting, I don't think he knew that I patiently watched my heart break..... Dawn rose in October, afternoon glared at me from beneath the stars in January and I felt him again as I wrestled with ideas of why I wanted to, and I wondered what his motivation was in March, on the night the snow fell without regard for our safety, I almost knew it couldn't be my curls, I felt I was way too... ...scattered. I felt him in May, I reached for his hand when our windows erased the nightmares, I lay by his side and listened to his heartbeat to find my voice and we breathed... when lips touched without speaking, when eyes locked and closed and whispers danced through sunbeams, when he told me, from underneath me... he loved me... before the sun fell and after heartbreak felt a little bit too much like June.