The Samaritan

Ok stop nagging, you twisted me arm, Ill tell you a true story that caused me harm. My wife and I ran out of petrol on the motorway, It was the second minute of the third hour of the day. So off I walked to the BP garage to get some juice, On the road are two women shouting verbal abuse. Their hummer was leaking a lot of oil, Under the car I went with my shirt black from the soil. While busy tightening their sump plug, I heard a loud bang; I must have looked like a mug, The most excruciating pain in my trouser I felt, When I found I was suspended under a lorry by my belt. I was doing sixty mph holding on for dear life, Crying, calling out to my wife. The lorry went on for two hours non-stop, How the hell I hung on and didn’t drop? Then by luck it stopped, this was my chance, I rolled from under the lorry to find I was on a boat to France My nuts were the size of basket balls, I thought that was it for the future generation of the Halls. A week later I returned with my balls in a wheel barrow, And my ---- the size of a full grown marrow. My wife thought I was dead and she almost choked, She didn’t speak to me as her life insurance claim was revoked. © 2000