The Christmas Tree

Wait a minute, is it already Christmas again Seems I just took down the lights and the tree Is there no rest for the downtrodden and weary This season sometimes takes the Merry Gentleman out of me So I load up the sleigh with the dog and the kids The old beat up station wagon I drive On the hunt for this years perfect tree We'll be lucky if we make it back home alive As we jingle all the way to the local tree farm Six kids and a dog singing at the top of their lungs With only twelve days left before Christmas My Ho, Ho, Ho, is already long gone Picking the best tree out within our budget My wife says Charlie Brown would be proud I ask smarty pants Mrs. Santa what she meant by that She'd rather not say with the little elves around Before an argument even ensues I've lost the battle before I hit the front line You wonder how I'm so confident of that The same thing happened last year at this time As I struggle to get the tree off the roof of my jalopy While Jack the dog in the frost is nipping at my toes I fall to the ground with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head Waking up to the dogs frozen tongue stuck up my nose Finally with the tree set up in the front parlor I notice it leans bad to one side Taking my chainsaw to alleviate the problem The gas fumes kill my kids parakeet out right With Hobby Lobby open late for the holidays I was able to purchase the product I need Working late into the wee morning hours I did a good job shellacking the parakeet I'm not sure that my kids even noticed Or brought up the question what for But they sure like the shinny new ornament Hanging next to the hamster that disappeared the year before Well, I survived another preparing for Christmas As subconsciously I'm being led To wrap myself in last years present "The Snuggie" And dream of those sugar plums dancing in my head