The Christmas Eve Caper

I woke up early on Christmas Eve It was late, in the middle of the night When I saw him under the Christmas tree He give me such a terrible fright I thought it must be a cat burglar Who was trying to steal from me And I had a fifty-two inch color television Under that Christmas tree So I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could To try to find me a kinife But I just couldn't find one anywhere Remind me to have a talk with my wife Anyway, I grabbed up the toaster behind the bread That was sitting on the cabinet shelf I snuck up behind him, like a ninja in sneakers And was planning on killing that elf Of course I didn't know it, at the time it occurred That the fat man, was old Santa Claus It wouldn't have mattered to me at all Cause he touched my remote with his paws I almost had him, when I heard this sound That was coming from my very own kitchen It was, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Those eight tiny reindeer had attacked me I had hoofprints all over my head And that's when the fat man in the big red suit Turned around to me and said "I'm just gonna borrow your color tv, So I can watch the football game" "The one in my workshop is only nineteen inches, And it's really too small and lame" Before I could tell him to forget it buddy I heard the sound of him slamming my door Those eight bully reindeer had wrapped me in tinsel And left me helpless on the livingroom floor Well, that was the last time I saw him And my tv was never returned So make sure you hide your color tv's Take it from someone who's learned