The Beer Monster

I’m sat in the bar with a beer on the table I’m gazing in rapt contemplation I need to make sense of it if I am able I must find a good explanation My mate’s in the loo, so what am I to do For there’s nobody here to bear witness The bartender’s too busy serving a queue And everyone minds their own business Did nobody here see my icy cold beer Grow hands and feet and a big head It has seven eyes and a devilish sneer “I dare you to drink me,” it said It glared up at me with its mad bloodshot eyes And then did a demonic dance This amber hued beast of diminutive size Is what put me into this trance My God, now there’s two of them, clinking together They no longer dance… but conspire Each of them steps a bit closer to me “Don’t tell or they’ll call you a liar.” At last my mates coming and soon he’ll be here He’ll flip at this hullabaloo But now that beer monster is just plain old beer I can’t even prove it to you So I must now seek out a good explanation Some facts into which I shall delve Such as why it should happen to just this one beer… and not to the previous twelve