The Advantages of Being a Dog

The Advantages of Being a Dog By Elton Camp A dog never worries about what to wear For he comes equipped with a coat of hair Most anything he finds, he’s able to eat His digestive enzymes with germs compete If he feels sick and then barfs up his food He can eat it again and not be thought rude Fido scratches himself in embarrassing places Yet nobody seeing it makes disgusted faces When another dog comes to visit or to stay He can sniff its behind and that’s okay If he impregnates some other canine Everyone thinks that it is just fine A mutt doesn’t have to learn to read or write Algebra factoring will not get him in a tight He doesn’t worry about work or paying bills To get a sporty new car gives him no thrills Then no matter how bad his conduct may be At death, from any fear of hellfire he is free A dog’s life is one of privileges so great That many humans would like to emulate