Splosh

You’ll find this disgusting, but Rudolph was busting He peed in that fish pond of mine But it wasn’t tragic, cos Rudolph is magic And he piddles sparkling wine The water went hazy, my goldfish went crazy And splashing all over the place It’s true, don’t be doubting, they dislodged my fountain And sprayed Prosecco in my face I swallowed a bit, not too much of it My hand stopped too much going in For wine that is fizzy can make me go dizzy I’d much rather do that with gin I think Santa heard, cos that’s not a bird It’s Prancer that’s flying above He’s tinkling from space, I got a quick taste It’s gin and I think I’m in love Then my wife appeared and I grew afeared She had a mad look on her face The goldfish are blotto, the yard’s like a grotto With reindeer all over the place But vixen’s my genie, she tinkled martini So I grabbed a glass in some haste Vermouth sprinkled in, right up to the brim My wife won’t let that go to waste So, now dancing twerky, she forgot the turkey And I grabbed a casserole dish I went in to get a whopping great net Cos dinner will be... a goldfish