Spinning the Resort

Spinning the Resort By Elton Camp For guests the resort does advertise So it will be desirable in their eyes Since the building is old and run down: “Located in the historical part of town” The heat and air don’t work very well: “About the local climate you will tell” Grounds are shabby and grass knee-high: “From your room, untamed wilderness spy” Windows are loose and some are cracked: “For our hotel, ventilation has never lacked” All the hotel furniture is faded and worn: “Antique items from before you were born” Plumbing is defective with leaks and all: “As you sleep, you’ll hear the water fall” We have no phones, television or Internet: “The most peaceful vacation you can get” Nowhere will guests an elevator ever see: “Exercise is always provided to you free” With so few guests, the daily rate is large: “You will be astonished at what we charge” Since the dining room grub isn’t fit to eat: “Our cuisine, weight loss will complete” Because nobody returns for a second stay: “Bustling crowds will never cause dismay”