Smiles and Cries

It doesn't matter what you say because I'm going insane I've put a bullet in my brain, what's the name of the game that I have play to be free? It really doesn't matter what anybody says to me, they didn't listen when I was spilling my guts, dropping pills and believing my paranoia Even though paranoias just a frame of mind. Now what is this I'm seeing when I'm swimming through a river of blood and shutting down Drop another round begin to feel the love with an amorous desire for life or I'm lying While I'm dying on the floor when I failed trying to stand back Managed my doubt that the black cloud over my head will retract now and stop shrouding my world with its shadows and down pours I'm damn bored, no I'm ill and what else can I feel? What else do I need? I need motivation to succeed and achieve where I'm heading, where I'm going and where do I want to be at. I haven't got a clue, I stopped thinking and stopped drinking and lost all my tact It doesn't take long for the river of blood to start flowing again, it's rushing towards me and adroline is flowing through my veins Depression often does it to the next sufferers head and you know it's getting bad when the rivers running red It doesn't really matter what meds you use you always hear stories of the drug being abused and self medicating is just something that you choose So if you don't have a plan about where you want to be take a f*** load of drugs and live a false reality Its been going on for years and I got bored to f****** death Fed up living life like it's a school exam test I'll admit that pills, weed and coke can be fun for some in moderation but I won't again let them make me feel like I'm staring down the barrel of a shotgun. Now my head is clear I'll let you in on one thing, you won't get where you're going if you keep living in a dream there's only two true things in life that arnt lies And there's two true things in life that never dies and those two things are called smiles and cries Is it a tragedy or comedy if you find comedy in tragedy