She Drives Me Up the Wall

SHE DRIVES ME UP THE WALL She drives me up the wall like a slave-driver O yes, she does ! but even though she may wield the rod in her hand ever so threateningly at me At the slightest suspicion of insubordination, Leaving me cowering with fear, I love her just the same, Perhaps much more than I ‘ve ever loved anybody else before! I may ‘ve become certifiable as a result, who knows, But whatever the case may be, pray don’t judge me harshly until you ‘ve heard me out. I love her for the same farcical reason that Socrates Ostensibly loved that cantankerous woman Xantippe. By temperament and upbringing, I find a woman who Stands up to a man much more appealing than one Who’s obsequious and complaisant! What happened to me, therefore, was no accident but a quantum leap; I had no control what so ever over the turn of events That got us this far in our fledgling relationship. Ever since I met her, my life, which had hitherto been Fairly peaceful and uneventful, has, all of a sudden, Taken a dramatic turn. And like a minx, she has so turned my head around I can’t tell for certain whether I am coming or I am going! Suffice to say I’ve been acting up silly and rather foolishly For a grown up person (I don’t know whether or not I still Have any semblance of an ego left, what with this Attractive je ne sais quoi I find so irresistible about her!) Oh no, don’t tell me I’ve been doing this all for the Wrong reasons ! or that I am laying it on thick. It’s only me who knows exactly what I am feeling. Besides, I am not talking morals here, I am talking About what it feels like to love somebody to a fault. If she did walk out on me now I can guarantee you That would certainly be the death of me! I am sure that’s not what you would all like To see happen to me just yet unless of course You’ve been spoiling for my death while pretending to be my friends. When all else is said and done, I’d rather be Henpecked than let go of this maverick specimen of womankind Who has lodged herself in my life uninvited, Making it her home, and has since then never failed To drive me up the wall like a slave-driver with her rod. Not only is she good sport, but like a morning Star she’s such fun to be with, I promise you! OLIVER MUKEMU