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Shapes

Everything is now a shade of a colour 
Nothing is defined anymore 
No longer are the edges clear 
Moments of light 
Moments of dark 
But one blurs into the other

My better judgement tells me it’s because I don’t recognise myself anymore 
If I ever did
I don’t know if I ever had something to compare this to in the first place 
I like to think I did 
My friends will tell me I was different years ago and I need to come back 
But how would they know 
They don’t know what was going on up there
And the past lives mean nothing when you’re trying to identify the scared face looking at you in the mirror 

The voices are just shades anyway and the memories are just whispers 
No commands in colour just suggestions 
You might and you may 
But who knows, this is just a game of chance 
And you don’t make your own luck anymore 

I can’t stop thinking about how you were asked if when you play your saxophone you see colours or shapes when you think of the notes 
It’s funny you couldn’t answer at the time but later you told me you saw shapes and shades of colours surrounding them and they dropped down as your fingers hit the keys

I now see the world in colours and shapes
That party was a triangle 
Obtuse and flattened 
In a shade of navy blue 
No room for the circles inside to breath
Everyone else feeling like it is just another triangle 
That dinner was a semi circle 
And that drink with my friend was a stout rectangle
I told my therapist this and she said I always see flat shapes and asked me why 
I told her I didn’t want to talk about music anymore
I told her I wanted to talk about how I can stop talking to her anymore 
She almost seemed more confused than me
That conversation was a rhombus

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