Self-Indulgent Blues

self-indulgent blues... my voice is hoarse from the silence of my relentless screams my very self rots in the darkened cave of my misplaced dreams all of everything that once kept the knotted peace is now tattered and in pieces twisting in the howling wind of the futile present wasting away with each breath that it thirstily seizes when all is gained yet all seems sour and effortlessly lost the remnants of each day wind up counting the dreadful cost of an emptiness embraced and a solitude ushered deep inside of a lost mind and a wandering soul aimlessly stumbling for a place to hide when thirty eight years seems far too late to clamber out of this worthless state and when another day seems entangled in the frayed strands of pitiless fate it reduces the sum of all that has been lived to a soiled emotionless moment of deadened grace while the wandering soul drifts further away from ports of call into emptier space where will all this dock if ever at all the flailing untethered emotions diving as they keel over and fall down into the crevasse of nothingness in the end breaking and shattering further all that now has become impossible to mend while the lunatic within refuses to bend like a wound that festers ever on and on becoming fruitless to tend so much effort to churn out such pitiful verse and pathetic rhyme worth nothing at all today, tomorrow or in a month's time so as this pen is laid down tonight it is surrendered gladly for i'm far too fatigued to fight...