Religious Education

Wur in RE an the nuns are gien oot sweeties, fur getting the kweschins right. Three oota three, then she’s askin mae who Jesus’ mither is. ‘Ah doan’t know sista,’ ah tell hur. She isnae happy an tells mae tae hink aboot it. So ah dae an ah wurk oot Jesus wis god. It wis a trick kweschin, ‘he didnae hiv ah mither.’ Ma sweet stoats aff the side ae ma heid. She’s spittin in ma coupon fur a name, an diggin hur digits in ma neck. ‘Ah doan’t know who Jesus’ friggin mither wis!’ Miraculously ah float tae the front ae the cless. Ma haun’s oot, bit ah doan’t hink shill hit mae wae that big stick. Thwack! Ah look doon it the bloody gash through ma puddlin eyes, ‘yoo’ve broke ma haun’ ah croak, then turn roon an boak.