Refurbished Fairy Tales: Cinderella, If the Shoe Fits Part I

Once upon a time... Once upon a time, in France, a storyteller fella Wrote of a girl named Cinderella, Meant as a fairy tale romance. Her daddy died when she was young, and she was forced to share his riches With three monumental b****es, A most unhappy circumstance. For years her stepmom and stepsibs made her perform a menial's duty, And as she blossomed into beauty, They grew more hateful, mean, and cruel. Each night they dined on fine cuisine and wore lace dresses with silk sashes, While she wore rags begrimed with ashes, And got just crusts of bread and gruel. Then one day a herald from the king demanded entry To the homes of landed gentry, They were invited one and all. It was the prince's eighteenth birthday, and the king and queen were harried Because their son was not yet married. Ergo, the reason for the ball. The stepsisters primped and preened and wild excitement they exuded, When Cindy asked to be included, they gaped at her as if appalled. Stepmother sneered, "Look here, I'll show you!" With self-righteous indignation, "Your name's not on the invitation. Just we elite are so installed." So Cinderella went downstairs to seek some solace in the kitchen, But 'stead of sittin' there and b****in', she started dancing with a broom. She whirled and twirled around the floor, Or else she'd stand there, gently swaying, As if an orchestra was playing Pretending they were bride and groom. And then a flash, a crash of thunder, and to Cindy's stunned amazement, There gliding through the kitchen casement, A pudgy lady dressed in blue. She said, "Hello, my dear, no fear, I'm here to grant your secret wishes, I'll wave my wand and clear the dishes, And make a princess out of you!" She waved and tapped and flicked and zapped, And what she seemed to make the air do Was give her make-up, nails, and hair-do, And then to make the look complete, Out of those rags so soiled and worn and far too torn to drown a cat in, A gown of gossamer and satin, and crystal slippers on her feet. Without this timely intervention, Cindy's tale might have been tragic. Could she have managed without magic, And her dilemma be resolved? But everybody knows what happened with a gourd and six white mice, And how a smudgy scullery maid was made to clean up really nice, When a fairy got involved. To be continued...