Pucker Up

Wanna move up the ladder fast? I'll tell you what to do; Run to the boss's office, And shine those dirty shoes! Are your fingers stout enough, To massage his smelly feet? Clip those crusted toe nails, Make sure they're nice and neat! Hang around the time clock, Snitch on those who's late; Spend more time in the lunchroom, Scrubbin' those greasy plates! Volunteer for overtime, Never seek a penny more; Bring up the morning papers, Deliver 'em to his door! Walk his ugly dogs, Drag 'em at least a mile; Find someone to baby sit, You'll be gone for a while! Show up when you're ailing, No matter how dark or drab; Take him out for dinner, Be sure to pick up the tab! Drive his wife to the mall, She's bound to get a thrill; Make sure she's extra happy, When you ask to pay the bill! Wash their dirty laundry, Maintain that sculpted lawn; Sleep is just a fairy tale; You're workin' up 'til dawn! Take his kids to the zoo, Let 'em drive you up a wall; If they throw rocks at a camel, Be sure to take the fall! Get ready for a let down, Kissin' up won't take you far; Bosses ain't really stupid, But boy, they know YOU are!!