Promotion

I wanted to be a rich girl In my posh executive suit But then a little person Made my life change route. Posh make up replaced with eye bags A bulge replacing my waist The fear of getting through bed time Worse than any meeting Id faced. Rats tails Instead of a style My nails not polished and posh I think there was a good few days I’d even forgotten to wash. You think deadlines are scary My friend you haven’t known fear Til your child is standing, their nappy is gone And theyre smiling from ear to ear. Don’t ask about my nice year ‘off’ I can assure you that my leave Was hard enough to make a stint In prison sound like a breeze. So while the brand new office girl Smugly pities me Lets take a short reflection To view my new CV… I am a master multi tasker No job too small or big You’ll never know what patience is Til you’ve watched EVERY Peppa Pig. Deadline shmedline I’m not phased Reports don’t bring me sorrow I’ve had that dreaded letter ‘He must be Superman tomorrow’. So you want creative do you? I must think outside the box? The **** I’ve made with cards and glue While we were sitting out the pox. I’m a motivational speaker I pull solutions from the hat I can engage an entire crowd With the attention of a gnat. I work straight through, I don’t take breaks And I don’t charge double time I adapt to situations All the freaking time. But I am stronger than ever and wiser And for that I will never be glum No career move can ever be greater Than being promoted to ‘Mum’.