Paper Or Plastic, Sir

Standing in line at Wally-world I suffered through this exchange of views.
The cashier asked the man in front of me, "Which of these will you choose?
Paper or plastic for you, sir?" and with a snarl he said, "Plastic will do for me!"
Then he proceeded to proclaim for all to hear, the plight of the forest tree!

"Don't you know that cuttin' down all them trees will leave the forests bare,
Deprivin' them poor hooty owls of a place to roost - now don't you really care?
Just think of them dwindlin' rain forests that supports monkeys, birds and such!
But them greedy companies keep cuttin' and sawin' - they're so outta touch!"

The gum-chewing cashier looked him dead in the eye and had this to say:
"My old man has been a lumberjack fer twenty years and works hard fer his pay!
I don't give a hoot about yer owls, yer rain forests or yer ring-tailed monkeys!
I ain't politically correct and you can relay that to all yer tree-huggin' junkies!"

I clutched my loaf of Wonder bread trying to look nonchalant, staring into space.
(We were in an express lane - he had two full carts, showing his lack of grace!)
Should this get out of hand I expected to hear, "Cleanup on Express Lane Five!"
I was beginning to wonder if both parties were apt to come out of this alive!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 4 in Susan Burch's "Paper Or Plastic" Contest - March 2012
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012


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Date: 9/29/2013 5:54:00 PM
This is very cute and humorous. Creative and different. Makes the reader smile and chuckle. nice job
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Date: 3/6/2012 9:59:00 AM
Too funny! Congrats on your win..definitely earned it :)
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Date: 3/4/2012 7:47:00 PM
Oh you! Funny stuff my friend. Congrats...BG
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Date: 3/3/2012 6:09:00 AM
Congratulations Bob loved this piece I would have placed it higher still xx
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Date: 3/2/2012 7:14:00 PM
BOB H.,... congratulations! WITH YOUR CONTEST WIN!! *Enjoyed stopping by to view may winners tonight!! Have yourself a very nice night ;-)*always..pd
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Date: 3/2/2012 5:02:00 PM
Robert, well done, my friend. Congrats on making Susan's winners' list.....................S.Ronthorpe
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Date: 3/2/2012 2:47:00 PM
Congratulations on your win and thanks for supporting my contest! nice use of dialogue :)
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Date: 3/2/2012 11:01:00 AM
Congratulations on your win in Susan's "Paper Or Plastic" contest Bob. Love, Carol
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Date: 2/28/2012 1:45:00 PM
She sounds like a typical Tesco's cashier, though!!!
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Date: 2/28/2012 1:44:00 PM
LOL, had a good chuckle, Bob - but hope he doesn't cross the Atlantic and shop at Tesco's : )
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Date: 2/27/2012 10:31:00 AM
Dear friend,you made me feel as if i was there hearing the discussion for real..great post indeed-Charma
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Date: 2/24/2012 5:17:00 AM
hey, this is such a good one on paper-plastic Bob. I so enjoyed the verbal exchange between the two gentlemen...sure winner!!! huggs...
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Date: 2/24/2012 2:39:00 AM
Oh the every day trama at the checkout, this is really good Robert, just love this. harry. P.S oh nearly forgot, check out Mandy Tams Poem 'Mi Amigo' i think you may like it.
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Date: 2/23/2012 11:50:00 AM
Holy Smokes you are a violent shopper, Bob! ha aha.....I am really getting a great laugh outta this entry!! A true top contender!! I dare to ever ever go shopping with you...sounds too exhilarating. REaLLY! Have a blast today! Gwendolen
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Date: 2/23/2012 8:46:00 AM
I am enjoying reading a vast array of poetry this morning. I am glad yours was amongst the ones posted here that I was able to read and enjoy Bob. Love, Carol
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Date: 2/23/2012 2:18:00 AM
a humorous tableu with lots of serious understones, bob... the express lane scene delights!... a winning piece!.. awwwight!..:) hugggs!
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Date: 2/22/2012 11:10:00 PM
hey, you did GREAT with the challenge. VEry enjoyable read from you, Bob. Loved the line about the guy being in the express lane when he shouldn't. hahha
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Date: 2/22/2012 9:43:00 PM
he he... BOB H., love it...good luck in the contest... I had fun stopping by, have a nice one~PD
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Date: 2/22/2012 4:18:00 PM
I agree you are a great story teller!!! Always gives me a smile... Ok Bob my friend are you ready for some BaseBall yet??? Hope your well my friend... Michael
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Date: 2/22/2012 4:07:00 PM
You are one of the greatest story tellers on the Soup!! Love it!!
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