Panic Disorder
I can’t make it, I can’t make it
I’m dying without any of my loved ones around me
Becky can you drive any faster
Hit the gas already
My chest is caving in, I feel like I can’t breathe
I open the car door and stand up
I am weak and feel unstable;
I make it to the door of the Victoria Grace hospital
I have to go in alone
I’m scared; I’m suffering alone because Becky isn’t allowed in due to Covid
A lady takes me to the emerge waiting area
There I sit in my own little bubble with plexiglass surrounding me
I’m called up to the front for an evaluation
I begin to cry; I tried to hold back tears, but I no longer ccan
The nurse takes my blood pressure asks me the basics
Then I go back; I wait alone
My phone is almost dead, I no longer will have anything to distract me
I anxiously text my mom asking if she’s on her way
She is but she’s still a half an hour away
I feel alone; I feel terrified
All these sick people around me with Covid symptoms
I put another mask on top of the one I already have and begin to hyperventilate
I am shaking; my chest hurts; and I am in excruciating pain
Tears are falling down my face, but no one comes to help me; to ask if I’m okay
My mother finally gets there; I feel a sense of relief
We wait for hours and hours, I am pushed to the back of the emerge waitlist
I start to cry because I am in so much physical pain, I feel my chest clenching and extreme pain
After 8 hours, I am finally seen by the doctor at 1:30 am
He does a quick assessment and tells me that I have Costochondritis; tissue inflammation
Just like what the doctor at the walk in told me
My gut told me it was something else; but at this point my parents thought I was going crazy
For a month, I was told it was costochondritis
I went to physio, and was questioned why I was so jittery and worried all the time
As time went on, the chest pain got worse, and I felt more and more miserable
One night my mom realized it; This seems like a panic attack she said during a flare up
Sure enough, a few days later I went to the doctor and she was right
What I was told was costochondritis before, was really pain brought along with panic attacks
After three months, I was finally properly diagnosed with Panic Disorder
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