Overrun by stuffed subdued teddy bears

Overrun by stuffed subdued teddy bears... of diverse and sundry sizes engaged in woebegone wild rumpus as a last hoorah for diversity, equity and inclusion, whose somber bowed heads (hide their snickers just a kiss away) their backsides mimicked tufted heavenly clouds interspersed amidst with imaginary fallen angels softly chanting profane funereal requiem, where a former warren of dust bunnies galore met their ill fate getting vacuumed hashtagged as sinners in the hands of an angry dog. Twas (NOT the night before Christmas), nevertheless bright idea lit up the eyes of zee missus Clause (she got known far and wide as an impractical joker) poised to strike at the least opportune moment while donning das skies of a playboy centerfold within the erogenous penalty zone took a page from Ursa (la) Major. Hens forth aye dedicate and air this poem for self aggrandisement, thus trumpet and blare to acknowledge this mister and asking thee to please support me courtesy mailing a blank check to Matthew Scott Harris, I kid thee not dear reader with ewe nanny muss cowabunga names of barnstorming farm animals buck cause I sheep push lee duck clear to promote worthwhile secular humanist (Billy me), one beatle browed, foo fighting nirvana seeking enigmatic, kinetic, romantic, and zoetic yahoo who dons guise pulling wool over your eyes. Before birth of our progeny yours truly (me) addressed said spouse "my little buttock blaster" endearment - for obvious reasons, and before she begat two 'ere rip press able deux lovely daughters, anyway thee wife I fear to publicize contracted a benign strain sans incurable glare ring housecleaning malady, (thus far no unpronounceable hair raising name affixed to non contagious plight, nonetheless accursed obsessive/compulsive malady, whereby to keep from appearing on Hoarding: Buried Alive at bay, she applies elbow grease scrubbing stubborn stains from clothes, dishes, getting down on all fours with the help of scrub daddy and consolidates tchotchkes to make room, when gamut of hibernating Ursine horde (nee Mötley Crüe) come breathing alive with the sound of music Nsync chron eyes with beastie boys, Bay City Rollers culture clubbing babes upon first spring day engrossed in this, that, or some other sweeping floor foray. Endless task to “keep house,” especially cuz rural housing development inspector(s) (scheduled of March twenty eighth) intend to grade our apartment against any violation checking every square inch for tell tale signs of abhorrent sight for sore eyes such as manifestations of sizable tufts of dust analogous to Velveteen Rabbit shedding gray winter coat when warmer temperatures arrive, where humongous fur clumps would lay comprising sudden empty raft of shelf space minus a may zing globules, oh...lemme get on track, whence frenzied fever "cleaning bug" nee major virus afflicting wife, would necessitate impossible task strapping, pinteresting, and kickstarting former feisty Norwegian farm gal a force to reckon with even in a straight jacket would hardly deter native talent to create chaos in her wake inviting ecosystems of critters who ordinarily she doth thrive within slovenly unkempt environment analogous to pigsty would be to her analogous child's game to play boot tiring and cruel task to pick up after her Yukon say 24/7 daily challenge for yours truly the husband to experience despair lest we receive eviction warning, impossible mission to locate an affordable accommodating renting a U-Haul to move out, which unpredictable eventuality defies ample time frame to shape up or ship out thine remaining lifetime wedded to wife oy vey would frank lee zap every last efficient excellent employee “oompa loompa” specifically to the small, orange-skinned people who work in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory in Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Ultimate challenge constitutes weathering blistering retorts for remaining years of married life with same spouse in response to constructive criticism like a nattering nabob of nativity buzzfeeding, lamenting and testifying to the omnipotent power at large who hopefully can affect and infect the wife with “house beautiful” syndrome.