On Love and Its Consequences: a Reprise

I once believed love was the be all end all of life The achievement of which would fix my broken soul Not realising that love shows many forms That soulmates come in differing ways The first time I truly thought I was in love I was 13 He was older, so seemingly wiser The red flags of his behaviour were too subtle for me Until his purple kisses became too much Until his love stained my body and my mind I still haven't healed from the damage he caused But hopefully one day I will The first time I was truly in love I was 14 He was gentle and kind but darkness consumed him I thought we could help each other into the light And for a moment we did, but a switch soon flipped As his life fell deeper into the dark I tried to pull him back But he only pulled me deeper Darling I never meant to make life difficult for you I have to believe you never meant to leave those purple stains I hope life is looking as bright for you as it now is for me When I was 18 I was healing from my past Not looking for love, instead trying to look forward Maybe that is why I didn't see you coming Maybe that's how you snuck into my heart Removing the weeds that had festers and planting roses By 19 he was teaching me how to love myself Helping me heal, despite the dark days that consumed us Instead of pulling me out, he helped me pull myself out I believe I didn't truly understand love before him Now I hope I can show him every day how much his love has meant It has meant that I realised I love my mum That she did the best she could in a difficult situation That she was trying her best to keep it together Only hurting herself in the process It has meant I realised I love my friends The ones I mess around with and the ones I talk serious too That without them the world would be a lot darker They deserve so much more than I can give But I will never stop trying for them Most importantly it has meant I realised I can love myself That I was not to blame for all that happened to me That I am capable of loving and being love That I do not need to stain my arms to survive That I stronger than I ever thought I was