Not here, not today

#Not_here_not_today catching loose knees, wonder if I would run here, how far would I even reach, when I'm just a boy in man's body. This threatens my present and could foresee damages bearing fruits in my tomorrow, here I stand my grounds or lose forever, could hear my breath in a beeping dying sequences, not here not today, though I hold my pen in my hand and my obituary paper before me, with this trigger ready to splash my brains.., Today death is not the meal I'm prepared to have... Wisdom and tactics are for the noble and old, I'm young even to make meaning out of this, my predicament obliges I choose, but my body refuse to surrender, so much I haven't touched in this world, so much I have to live for, death kiss be goodbye, no matter how informal this farewell is, not today not here... See there, in the far reach of my lame eyes, the sun shines, birds sings, could catch some echoes of happiness, this tiny hands and legs, are to grow not here not today but there and tomorrow, before my heart beat reach its climax, before my eyes reach their blurry stage, before my hair grow grey, before my skin wrinkles, not here not today but there is my lab for experiment, I refuse to meet my ancestors before I meet my first lover, my first born, my first nephew, refuse to surrender my first everything here and not today, refuse you be my last everything, not here, not today #Poetic_Ink