No Regrets?

I wish my brother The best of us in a damaged family Hadn't died He was my best friend through the years He kept me level headed and laughing at life I wish I hadn't gone fishing that day And missed my brother calling in It would have been one more time That I had seen him Before he left this world I wish I hadn't hurt So many innocent people In my raging youth I can't go back and apologise Or fix it I wish I hadn't let my mouth Be so loose Hurting people with careless words A lot of pointless pain Could have been avoided I wish I had been stronger For my children When they were young I could have saved a lot of heartache For them and for me I wish I had told my son That I needed him Wanted him to come with me Then he wouldn't have believed The vicious lies I wish I could be The grandma I'd aimed to be And longed to be Due to inability to move much That got lost I wish I hadn't been so careless With caring for my body Through the years A little bit of caution And I wouldn't now be crippled I wish I could Have my physical health back But that is no longer an option Only a miracle Can change it all I wish I could find My old sense of humour But it's buried too deep In the physical And emotional pain I wish there was a way To let my mate know How much I truly love and appreciate him But no words or gifts Will ever suffice I wish there was a way To stop spiralling down A little more each day I don't know how to fight it Anymore I wish my time to go Was here and now My spirit longs to be freed But the time is not mine to choose