My Doubt Gave No Indication...

Will I live longer than I suppose to be living...possibly a centenary, and struggle on a cane to sustain my weakness? Those beautiful and vibrant years have fled to impose fears, making my presence unattractive and more blowzy, and in the present time, I am isolated and frowzy; a deteriorated mind feeling the burden of senility? My motto wasn't " Conquer and be invincible!" No-first mistake was allowed to mar my perfect character; body and mind in full accord, blending together, so obstinate in defiance to obstruct any possible pleasure... was it a deference to holiness? Everywhere explicit posters encouraged promiscuity: an indulging nation...diverging from the concept of morality! And however strong was urge to indulge in wrongful acts incoherently, my doubt gave no indication...that I would have gained from my inequity; and ruin would have wrecked this conscience and wrenched my spirit; alone to face the sure wrath of the Divine...while wrestling with my lost worth! One-stand night didn't nurture a sensation so momentary and insipid, many times, staring in the cold darkness, I was glad that my behavior wasn't lurid! And today new pills promise to give more virility, causing blindness and a probable, sudden death; and Lord, my intention is not to use them to harm myself, the gift of longevity was well-received and is well-kept by me! Unlikely the times past, when my doubt gave no indication, now it does so plainly and clearly... not swaying my attention! Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci