My Childhood You Stole

Seeing you turns me into that helpless child again. I truly become certifiably insane. Unable to even cope, because I didn't mean as much to you as your dope. I was an addicted to your drugs before my birth, From a very young age you taught me my value and worth. My childhood you robbed and stole. trying to release myself from all these demons you inserted into my soul you programed me to do unthinkable acts. Im unable to to accept these disgusting facts. Visions that I carry deep inside my head, overwhelming thoughts of tremendous up and coming dread. Constantly doubting my abilities to be maternal. how dare your ways be pushed on me as I try to deny that this is internal. I'm still learning how to be a survivor, from you being my personal sexual slave driver. I'm not going allow you to mute my voice. I have god at my side and will praise him and rejoice. The fact that I am a survivor of the worst kinds of crime. I realize how high my mountain is that I must climb. My true inspiration is my innocent children. Your lack of protection of my innocence will not bring me to sin. Some days all I can thing of is the horrible abuse, Not realizing Ive already paid my dues. Its time to release this unspeakable pain. Peace love and serenity I will attain. So don't look at me with pity or sorrow, God will lift me up and his strength I will continue to borrow. Until I can tell my story without any shame. When I can realize I was a child and cannot accept any of this blame.