My Bringing of Technicolor

… What is love? I seldom find myself not pondering about the human condition; however, attraction is something I couldn’t wrap my finger around. So the question lingered in my mind- who am I attracted to?- At first, I rarely found enlightenment betwixt the connection of two- I wanted to remain single. This was due to never finding myself experiencing the “attraction” to men that my friends were; when a “cute” guy was brought into view, nonchalance would be my only response. I was oblivious to my true feelings- I found myself questioning the frivolity of all concepts when I never had a clear standpoint for the concepts themselves. The entire time, I was feeling attraction- though that strange sentiment was never registered. … I believed that my pulsing desire to date a woman was a standard, human urge- one day, I overheard my classmate, contradicting this engraved idea; she spoke about being repulsed to date a girl. When I returned home, I made a foolish move by taking an “Are you gay?” quiz from buzzfeed- though it cleared my concept of “attraction.” To my surprise, wanting to kiss a woman was not normal. It was then I realized that I was into women, though I didn’t know how I felt about men- I wanted an organized, clean way of knowing whether or not I was attracted to men, so I ran some tests. … One- I devised scenarios, such as “You get kissed-” if I was comfortable with it, a point would be counted; I’d evaluate this for both sexes. Conclusively, women scored much higher than men- … Two- I decided to take more “Are you gay?” quizzes online- my bewilderment had faded after I got called homosexual by the quizzes for the thousandth time. … Three- As humorous as it is, I watched an entire gay show to see if I was into any of the guys- there’s no shock in saying I wasn’t. … Despite this, I find no rush to label myself, despite the human tendency to desire understanding of one’s being. I’ve seen people change their labels in their 30’s, so I’m going to sit back and relax, because my sexual orientation isn’t my entire being, and it’s okay if it changes.