Mr Wig

[Pylon (UK) = Transmission tower or Electricity pylon (USA) Domestos = Bleach] _________________________________________________ Jeremy Wig was entirely bald He sought the best hairpiece that he could afford He opened his wallet which made the moths blink With just a few coins he had to rethink He went to a fancy dress shop for his hair The price was unreal - like everything there The wig that he purchased had hair made of nylon He got a big shock when he walked near a pylon People would laugh for his hair was a shocker He looked like a seventies reject punk rocker He hurried off home, wiped his feet on the mat A static charge instantly toasted his cat He went here and there, lightning bolts everywhere Burning folk’s clothing and their underwear Stark naked people with burned crinkly hair All would curse Jeremy’s new nylon hair People he knew learned to dress in asbestos Someone said, “Let’s make the man drink Domestos.” Whatever they said he just didn’t care For he was so pleased with his new nylon hair He went to a party and had some fun there Even when six balloons stuck to his hair A text that was typed made his hair stand on end The fireworks started when someone pressed ‘Send’ When someone said, “Go back to just being bald.” He thought of the horrible names he’d been called He wasn’t prepared to be somebody’s joke He pulled a balloon off… and went up in smoke