Missin kissin I'm No Spring Chicken I'm All Out Of Luck

Whoever invented the Kiss I'd like to shake their hand But I won't Because I'm shortsighted and always miss It wouldn't be such a problem If I had Mick Jaggers's lips But the boss My Mrs doesn't like it And slaps me on the wrist She's packed her bags to leave But In tried to kiss her goodbye But again I missed She gave me a dirty look Then threw a book And yet another Salon the wrist Years later I heard she got married Now calling herself Jagger Mick could really hit those lips And give a smacker But she threw him out Because his lips were much too big And she got drenched in slaver Pretty picky woman If you ask me I'm just a man Who once had a plan Who couldn't find the X on the map Although I tried my best I just didn't realise how small she was No wonder I missed and got a slap on my hand I joined a college course to learn how to kiss And it was lots of fun Until I kissed a woman I'd never met before our lips did fit I'm not too sure why but her Husband chased me with a gun? Hunting season came early And the chase had just begun Ilm no Valentino More like Donald Duck And when it comes to kissing I sure ain't got the luck Never practice on a dod A Camel or a Hog.o