Mental Abuse

Mental Abuse 
By Ricky Flanigan

I wrote this when I was in my worst a few months back, feeling it!

I'm locked up mentally, increasingly destroying my reputation,
Hangin' on the line between 1st class and starvation,

Staring at the result in which there's air to breathe, no.
Currently stuck in the intersection just waiting to finally go.

As the time being reeks desperation, I always need to remember,
My life will miraculously change in the month of November.

This is the last chance I got, even though I'm only at the start,
Already losin' people cuz' I won't be part of the corner ho-Mart.

You see here peasant , on7u to why I am in a mid life crisis?
Where is there the miracles , a half way decent oasis?

I wish someone could take a walk in the f**ked up shoes I present In,
Maybe one day they'd realize why my life revolves around sin.

Day by day I suffer and take it by the throne.
I don't ask for help but when I need it, no answer on the phone.

Only a matter of moments until I finalize my suicide note,
"I only wanted people to see the good, not judge me" Ricky Nichole wrote.

Oh don't worry I'm fine, I'm the best independent,
Wonder why I always end up on a drug co dependent?

Ricky? The one who over exaggerates everything ya I know her,
Deliver us from evil, but her? No sir,

I'm stuck in a mess so real (it stings)it is a reality turned to a comedy,
Remember what Ricky said, sentimental thoughts prevent a suicidal remedy.

Do what you got to do to kick the b**ches to the curb,
As I stare at you , your scando, keep goin' don't disturb.

Continue to the end , as wherever that might be,
Times running out for Ricky , as everyone will soon see

Your lucky to the ones who care, that I'm still holdin' on,
Bout ready to approach the counter with my soul to the pawn.

If I die before the day is done, I promise the devil my soul to reep,
I say this only because he's got me thru **** far too steep,

For the regular person to experience, they'd quit at the start of it,
You better believe it.

I don't carry an ego, I only give what I receive,
I have the answer to the world ready to conceive.

The repetition of my actions only dig me deeper in this hole,
I gotta' stop takin on this manager with no experience kinda role.

I wake up in this nightmare, ready to fight for what I love, 
I don't even waste my time with the figure up above. 

For only to who know, I give more than everyone gets,
I F**k up coincidentally but live my life with no regrets.

Comment?:)
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015


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Date: 3/4/2015 5:52:00 PM
Very emotional poem, Hope you are feeling better, but great write!
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Date: 3/3/2015 4:55:00 AM
I'm sure Poetry Soup will be a decent oasis for you. I wish better days for you. Good poem -JT
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