Melt

All these moments that should bring happiness, bring me sadness i keep asking myself if I'm depressed I keep telling myself I'm not depressed I'm looking in the mirror, and I'm not that impressed I'm sitting in the same place I was a year ago. I haven't moved a bit. Tears keep falling, im broken, I'm heartless, I'm such a mess i don't know how to say it out loud.. i don't really like talking in front of big crowds. im trying to make my parents proud it just never works out. Feels like these days I don't have a god, im hanging this rope up on the rod, seconds away from hanging myself, I feel like I'm gonna melt I feel a way I never felt. Im just trying to save myself I don't wanna melt. Im so cold, so cold, they say "you're so cold hearted" they keep trying to make me melt taking me out my comfort zone I feel a way I never felt. thinking of new ways to work it out my thoughts say "use a belt" those who don't and even those who do know me probably think I'm suicidal and to that I laugh I laugh at all of you because you want to be understood but you never try to understand you just hold my hand and tell me you do.