Medicinal Cocktail

A million racing thoughts running avidly through my mind Difficult keeping up with the multiple ideas, particularly hard to find Needing to suppress the notions, all but maybe one or two Trying to comprehend all the visuals; something clearly unable to do Impossible to focus entirely on one single subject at hand Frustration, anxiety and panic attacks soon to be in high demand Hone in on one topic; let the rest simply fade they say Words easily spoken when you’re not living this from day to day Did you take your medication, or did you “forget” to do so once again? Let me find them for you, it seems your moodiness is about to set in I don’t need or want this poison which is prescribed upon to me All is need is kindness and care and allowing me to be drug free Free from this medicinal cocktail I’m forced to consume every day Free from all of the criticism; the “know it all” persona you portray Feed me love and guidance, not medications which leave me semi comatose I promise this time will be different; I’ll behave without any room to boast I know in the past I have stumbled and obviously let you down But if you give me just this one wish, my actions will be sane and sound I want to live my life again, not needing their drugs of choice every day I want to be able to think clearly just once, without this hazy cloud of gray Give me this one wish and I vow to you, I’ll behave myself this time I never thought begging you not to take drugs would be my life of crime Maybe this time will be different and maybe I won’t need to feed On this poisonous medicinal cocktail created entirely just for me © Stacy Lynn Stiles