Maybe

Some days I really wonder If I did things differently Loved you more Held you closer Maybe even loved you less If we would still be together Some days I wonder If I let you toy with me long enough If I would be your favorite Some days I wonder If I cried less tears Or if I told you I needed you That you wouldn’t have gone Like leaves in the wind Some days I wonder If I’ll ever be able to feel again Some days I wonder If the stars would have aligned Maybe in some universe If it would have ever been me and you Some days I wonder If it was really only my body you wanted Or if you got annoyed by my laugh Or the way I go quiet Or maybe even the awkward sleep patterns I have Some days I wonder If I never let you in Let you into my personal space Or let you inside Maybe things would be different Maybe you would have stuck around To see my personality shine Or my smile glow Or my endless desire to give you my all Even when there is nothing there Maybe if I didn’t fill your glass when I was empty Maybe just maybe You would have stuck around But maybe it’s better to only feel this pain some days Maybe it’s better Better than having to hear your endless lies Or let you sink your sharp teeth into my sides Or to feel the tears fall out of my eyes And into my soul Some days I wonder Would it have been better if I just never met you? Would it have been better Not to kiss the very lips that whispered sweet nothings? Not to have been so desperate Sitting there as the sun set Sweating and pacing Wondering if you were ever coming home The steps of your porch Almost as broken as I felt I waited for four hours Just to simply have a conversation But as the words left my mouth They went over your head And straight into the ground The very ground that my broken heart will forever lie. So the question is If things happened differently Would it have ended the same?