Looking Back

Where I come from you wouldn't figure, I could be the person that I have become. My childhood was never spent needing, and physical abuse there was none. My mother would never tell me no, with my father I had to earn all of it. Manipulation was learned very young, and respect was not something I saw fit. Just a rebellious teenager they said, not knowing of the raging war inside. Mentally stuck in that one state of mind, emotionally broken I pushed everything aside. I dare not let them see my confusion, They couldn't possibly understand why. So family was pushed even further away, and I began to self medicate by getting high. I had always known that I was a little different, the family characteristics I did not possess. Affection was something similar to scarce, feeling cast out I was in emotional distress. Afraid of really letting anyone get too close, the word failure I wouldn't dare say aloud. I was never quite as the expected me to be, but all I ever wanted was to make them proud. For so long all I could do was run and hide, I could have just opened up and spoke my mind. Maybe if I had only known the true meaning, and just realized that real love is blind. A mother and father's love is very pure, always unconditional and alike no other. Families are forever and never judging, seek their protection and in it you will find cover.