Look Back At Me

Well as I hinder my own history 
Looking back through the lens of the destroyed me
Poetry went from an outlook of youth 
and became a vessel of pain

Holding memories I live in to escape my truth
Good memories that hurt because they hold choices
I could not see then but could have saved me then
Hindsight 20/20 I may never wish to see again

Looking back further to reoccurring nightmare I had as a 
Child.
My father leaving the car to go into a store being shot 
And leaving nothing but a bic pen with his face
Seems so silly until fast forward and his railroad job kept 
Him gone and his extra bic laid around to grab when 
Needed. 
Or the pen he kept in his fingers to quit smoking as
An adult that pen is his most prominent memory so
A nightmare or child's premonition 

Epiphanies abound in the looking back glass
You almost catch it the warning in your life 
The ones your looking back on. But in the past
You stop for a second shake it off ignoring yourself 
Or maybe your wife

I know it not this way for everyone
But those who lost everything to an accident 
If they would of stayed home to relax some
They still have a job a life and could pay rent 
You know they still earn an income

Instead we are judged as bums with the folks that never left 
Their parents home
Cause if you got nothing to offer 
People are not in a hurry to learn your situation our 
Spend time to understand and overcome
Nsw let's keep it easy he just a lazy but

And with the pandemic came s missed chance to understand
All the sudden everyone got a 1000 a month to help 
Their income
And wouldn't you know it wasn't enough they wanted to give
Each kid a grand
Did they take that time to notice 1600 is most any disabled person might see no cause in that moment they were to freaking stupid to understand irony

Copyright © Shawn Gorsick | Year Posted 2022

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