I've met Scarecrows with more Spine than you!

I'm not addicted, so this will be easy It's a hard truth to hear so I just tune it out and I’m arguing with walls but I end up letting them fall on me “But it can only be as violent as your imagination,” She said quietly Well you're still smiling in the mirror And that tells me failure has a sense of humor But put some quality to your consciousness for just a second, Am I the victim or the detective if I’m asking all the questions? I'm not addicted, so this will be easy, right? I'm not here for friends, I'm here for validation A doctorate in consuming your radiation; the only way to become immune But it all backfired when the friendship bracelets untied and left a trail of charms, crawling to the corners of the room Another memento collecting dust Along with the oxygen tanks I have stored For when you take my breath away But now they’re all poised and dressed in rust I'm not addicted, so this should be easy A single chance to prove to myself that I was right Screaming in my head that this never should’ve happened It never should’ve happened! But I become a shell of a used battery with no current When I try to fight this The rulers above me hear fire alarms when I pray for proper punishment A single complication that could torment my expectations If my bar was any lower for you, it would be caressing gravity’s cheek at the bottom of the ocean Like darkness converging towards you at the end of a tunnel You’re biggest mistake was underestimating me A sailor who overlooks the water, ends up a skeleton full of stars and coral I bleed smoke from my ears as the world moves on And my mouth is a blinking fire alarm But it’s silent and the blinding light is only casting in my eyes and praying for proper punishment fuels the constant fire behind the adrenaline rushes of well-crafted lies Injustice digs the grave, But you’re the one who lays with mouth and eyelids stitched, readily encased She asked me if she had the information, would I want to know? My skin jumps out of me, and into third person Screaming at myself that this never should've happened This never should’ve happened!! And so it goes But I looked at her through a watery blur and told her I don’t want to know “It can only be as violent as my imagination” I said quietly The ambivalence of the situation is deafening And my delusions of how much time is actually passing Is forcing me further into survival mode where my emergency flashes must be refracting Cause I’m the only one seeing this! And these walls that I keep arguing with are the same ones I built around my support system and now they’re both collapsing Am I the only one seeing this?! Am I the doctor or the patient if I’m asking all the questions? Am I the hero or the martyr if I’m saving myself from my own deception? The leader or the enemy if I take accountability? Self-awareness isn’t always a treasure And so it goes But I looked at her through a wavy blur And told her I just don’t wanna know A single detachment to leave my integrity jeopardized But I’m not addicted, so this should be easy, right? Will this be easy? It never is, But this has to be easy, right?