Im Not Ready

I’m not ready to say good bye, I’m not ready to say good bye to you, No matter what you say I know you put a wall up to protect yourself again. But I’ll word double time to let you know I’ll never hurt you again and you can let your guard down because I’ll always be here to protect you to listen to you to take care of you when your sick or down, to love you. Im not ready to say goodbye to my best friend, The person I can’t wait to share the most irrelevant news with, the person that lets me be me and calls me a weirdo but loves me anyways, the person I share my laughs with. I’m not ready to say goodbye to my baby, I’m not ready for someone to wake up with my baby, spend the time that I need to be spending with him, give him the things that I should be there giving him I don’t want another man at his birthday parties where I should be. I missed out on enough time with him when I ed up and I don’t want the thought of missing more time to become a reality. I’m not ready to say goodbye to my/our family, my home, my safe haven. I don’t want anybody else filling my role. My reason to do better has always been you and the boys. I’m not ready to say goodbye to us most of all, not ready to let go of the memories we have built and have yet to build, the late night talks about nothing, the road trips the date nights, the laying in bed in each other’s presence doing nothing. I’m not ready to let go of us because us is all I’ve had forward to look to for as long as we’ve been together. I’m ready to admit I fuxked up and I wasn’t thinking straight and I ruined everything and it broke you and I’m sorry I ever did anything like that to hurt you but I’m not that person. You know that, of everyone on this planet you know the true character of my heart, you know where my heart lies. I’ve nothing to hide nothing I want to hide my phone, my everything is open. To you. You’ll never have anything to worry about because I’ll put an end to it as soon as it shows up. I’ve been the one feeling broken lately with sleepless nights and wondering thoughts. and I’m sorry for making you feel any kind of pain when all I ever wanted to do was give you love. I ruined us and I’m doing everything I can to rebuild us from those ruins. Whether I have to start from the bottom or create a whole new foundation. I will fix us. I just need you to do the one thing I know you can’t right now and that is to have faith in the person you know I am have trust in me and I promise everything else will follow behind. I wills never hurt you ever again. I’ll never do anything to destroy your trust again. I’m not ready to let this story end until the end of my life. I don’t want this story to end unless it ends with us. I love you unconditionally and wholeheartedly and I forever will.