I Smashed My Head Against the Wall Today

I smashed my head against a wall today. I hit it against the concrete until it bruised and now I bleed. I’m just so damn confused and I can barely eat. I smashed my head against a wall today. I cut my face with a blade today. Right above my eye. The blood falls down my face like tears. I love this feeling… this feeling right here. I know this feeling is not a lie. I cut my face with a blade today. I planned my own funeral in my head today. I decided I don’t think I’ll have one. Viewing my body wouldn’t be any fun. Please don’t think about me when the day has come. I go to sleep dreaming of a loaded gun. I want to die today. Everyday. I feel everything yet nothing at all. I feel so small. I smashed my head against the wall.