I really Believed you

Supposed to feed off of the pain That forever comes my way But I'm getting my ass kicked by this game Been insane for....... I lost count of how many days Searching for the right words to say Almost impossible to try n explain It's like the dysfunction been ingrained Since such a young age Grasping at ghosts of the past All I ever wished for was to have your love last But I think too much was done scars beeding from lash after lash Tears flow when I wana just smile and laugh How can i even have the nerve to ask Numb Takin blast after blast drugs stopped working long ago Chasin" that heat wave flash shooting through my blood Don't know.how my veins are even still intact Lookin for the perfect blue line to slash Everyday like going into combat When all I really want is your love back Deep down knowing it's been long gone Knowing all along, It was never really there Fabricating a life that only I can imagine Fooling myself into feeling your passion & compassion When the truth is, you just waiting for the inevitable to happen I REALLY did believe you were in love with me And you would never leave Kuz thats what you promised me... All along I was just forcing myself to not see If I'd just let my dilussions go, I could finally be free But I've alway held on to that blind faith in humanity Thinking that you were so much more than Any of them could ever be.. Stupid me.....