He-She-It-They

My gran doesn’t ‘get’ this woke society I told her that there’s a new sobriety We went for a walk to see what we would see And show her we all can be what we will be Men can be women and girls can be boys And most men in showbiz have that certain poise I’ve seen a guy wearing a little black dress And people whose gender is something to guess But live and let live is the latest doctrine Though sometimes I wouldn’t know where to begin Someone approached us in pink dungarees And Doc Marten boots and a beard to ‘their’ knees With glitter mascara, diamanté tiara A dog tag that said nothing more than ‘Tamara’ ‘Their’ Mohican hair style was quite a strange sight Twas dyed rainbow colours and went left to right I tried not to notice ‘their’ tightly strapped breasts But bits were protruding from her (their) string vest In an unguarded moment I said, “Evening Miss.” He/she/it/they gawped and said, “That’s remiss.” I told he/she/it/they, “I’m not of this age So don’t take offence, please don’t get in a rage.” ‘They’ strode off and snarled like a pantomime cat And my little old gran said, “What The F*** Was That?”