Goodbye Memories

Launch the lecture, tear me down to never build me up, you couldn't build a wall if a thousand bricks were around. Time after time, you watched me fall as you pushed me over the ledge, I watched your anger swell. Living in your shadow is my personal hell, memories of a tomorrow that never came, I'll never be the same. I won't let it be in vain. I look out of the window into the night, that room fills me with fright, this space is still so full of hate. The memory of you is more than I can bear, sometimes it feels like you're still there. You terrify me, still to this day more than anyone sees. Remembering what shouldn't be, memories flood the night through the trees. These windows hold so many stains, crying on a floor that holds so much pain. Seeping, leaching my soul, when I crumble I don't feel whole. Remembering your face makes me stumble, it doesn't carve my path, even if a memory is all I have. When it doesn't feel real, was it a bad dream? You infiltrate my dreams in so many shapes. I fear the end, what will seal my fate. I see your smile, that's what I hate, so bad it gives me the shakes. I miss what never was, a life without you in it. I pray that one day it will quit and I can say goodbye. I'm afraid of fate, of ceasing to exist at the hand of another. My dreams detonate, the violence created from pain so deep seated, memories plague me, afraid to take the leap. Dedicated to my abusive ex.