FROM SANTA CLAUS XMAS 2011

written twelve years ago when yours truly about two score and twelve years old, and fishy financial fiasco about twenty six weeks before being scalloped courtesy villainous fraudster otherwise known as scam artists, blithely, glibly, and pliantly fleeced with shear trickery my coveted nest egg. TO: TWO PRECIOUS HARRIS LASSES WHO LIVE ON GREENTREE LANE THIS FAST APPROACHING CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY AS WILL READILY BECAME PLAIN RECEIVED A SPARTAN GOVERNMENT LARGESSE WHICH AFFORDS PRESENT ONLY ONE BOX OF COAL APIECE DISAPPOINTMENT THIS PA HUMBUG HO HUM FELLOW WILL TRY TO EXPLAIN. OUTRAGEOUS COSTS TO CLOTHE ELVES WHAT WITH DESIGNER CLOTHES AND THE LATEST TECHNOLOGICAL GIZMO NEARLY BROKE THE PIGGY BANK IN ADDITION TO FEED THE REINDEER COMPOSED OF BUCKS AND DOES THIS I TELL YOU TO BE EARNEST AND FRANK WHICH GRUELING BUSINESS NEARLY FOUND LITTLE ASS(ETS) FROZE THIS GOVERNMENT ACTION NO HALLOWEEN PRANK NEARLY FOUND ME BEHIND BARS ADDING TO UNFORTUNATE WOES. SMALL TOKENS ACQUIRED BY THE ABILITY TO SCRIMP AND SAVE A PITTANCE COMPARED TO LAST YULETIDE YET NO INTENT TO BE MEAN SPIRITED NOR RANT OR RAVE FOR BOUNDLESS LOVE SPILLS FORTH FROM SENSITIVE PRIDE NO MATTER SOME PERCEIVE ME UNSAINTLY PURSE NICKETY KNAVE RANK AS A WORSE CREATION THAN FRANKENSTEIN’S BRIDE. TRY TO REMEMBER TIS THE THOUGHT FROM WITHIN TO GIVE EACH AND EXTEND THE SPIRIT OF GOOD CHEER THAT COUNTS MORE THAN SPEND LAVISHLY AND TO REALLY TEACH SO CHERISH EACH AND EVERY MOMENT WITH PASSION TO SPARE. NOW ONWARD AND UPWARD HO WITH THE SOUND OF SLEIGH BELLS BACK TO THE NORTH POLE THIS POOPED OUT HERD WILL GO AND THE EXPECTED GIFT FROM THE MISSUS A LUMP OF COAL PLUS A LAUNDRY LIST OF DUTIES PERFORMED WHILE ENDURING TEMPERATURES (INCLUDING WIND CHILL FACTOR) THAT FEEL LIKE… WELL BELOW ONE HUNDRED BELOW.