Fragile Concrete

I loved you I lusted you I needed you I trusted you I imagined you I imagined you to a fault I imagined you at the expense of your reality I lived in duality Love and lust Lust and love red flags ignored seeking connection when lonely and bored A person who is to many people an idol I entertained you while Idle and your games made me entertain suicidal,thoughts idle mind is the devil's playground I was in a weird place and in certain ways bound red flags were waving at me, they shouted at me, screamed at me your red flags were singing at me, i picked them up and danced with them and told myself as long as i can have him but he wasn't God sent he was sent by dark forces to validate the negative voices and to show me my wrong choices his red flags and my red flags would play tag. tag you're it tag i love you tag you're not tag i want you tag I need you Tag you're it now im done playing so i'll leave you red flags,lust,feelings of love but nothing solidified wondering if it's his fault or was it my heart that lied? all the red flags were there yet we couldn't stay apart for too long no more wonder what or where we went wrong healing elevating to ceiling crying through the process as i process whatever lesson so it may then sprout forth as a blessing and can open my sacred garden open to the right one not one i entertained while suffering shame, and one who plays games and i won't mention any names because at the end of the day it's all about self awareness and growth and that is what gives me hope taking accountability for my own choices to entertain sunshine or rain, heartache and pain the good or the lame its all one and the same but grateful for the awareness next chapter