Foot In Mouth Disease

Anyone who’s picked up clubs and played out on a golf course, will know there’s times they lose their cool but later show remorse, but rarely do when following a wayward group who’s bloody slow, and forced to lean upon their irons while they let their anger show. Basically I’m a placid golfer when I hook or slice a ball into the trees. I’ve never used that second swing in anger to take it out upon the tees. I accept a triple figure once I’ve played the eighteenth hole, but there’s some I know the fever hits and lose their self-control. But in these fits of golfing anger where sarcasm comes in large degrees, they tend to end up with a double dose of foot in mouth disease, nd this happened by the Murray on a Coomealla green, when a bloke who’s playing in my group caused one almighty scene. His name was Bart Milojevic; an impatient unrepentant man, who’s teamed up with Bobby Nunn and I to play the best we can. It was s’posed to be a learner’s day so we’re to show some care, but the only thing they learnt from Bart was how to curse and swear. Then we got stuck behind this twosome once we played the second hole, and even I was getting agitated as their slowness took a toll. They were taking up to ten putts after six shots to the green, even though they had a caddy - they’re the worst at golf I’ve seen. We made sure they heard our comments on the way they played the game, and we offered heaps of good advice with a well-directed aim, though Bob and I tried being subtle to make these golfers move along, Bart’s manner was quite cutting and his language very strong. Then Bart finally blew his boiler threatening violence on a green, and his shouting at the caddy now is causing quite a scene. His demand that we play through was so forcefully implied, and Bart’s manner seemed quite justified ‘til the caddy took us all aside. The caddy in a somber voice explained the situation to us three, “These men are blind,” the caddy said, “After saving a community. They are two firemen, retired now, who lost their eyesight in a fire while saving children in an orphanage, when all was looking dire”. “So please” The man continued “Show compassion for their plight, and please do not abuse them; they do their best without their sight” … I just wish a hole would open up so I could find a place to hide, and Bob apologized profusely, but Bart just shrugged and sighed. “I understand just what you’re saying” Bart’s voice is lower now, “Those two are really heroes but you must understand somehow, that if they’re blind and playing golf, without an ounce of sight, they could help the likes of us you know - if they played their round at night”.