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First Thoughts

I love the way you look at me, I wish they would just let us be. Words can't explain how I love you so, And how my feelings continue to grow. Whenever I have to hug you good-bye, It stirs up in me the need to cry. I can't imagine the pain you've had, Or how you've made it through all the bad. But I strongly believe that our love is true, As I revolve my thoughts around me and you.

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Aaron Crow

Date: 11/28/2008 9:01:00 AM

I enjoy your emotions, but I think that you could create art with them by putting them in a metered line or creative free verse. The syntax in the last sentence makes me pause and consider what you said. This is what you want if you want to create something that can be understood and felt by everyone (I think).