Finding My Break Point

On days such as this When all lessons seem lost I wander the forgotten labyrinth of my mind Unable to recollect a single detail of it's construct So many secrets lost I may never regain The resulting numbness keeps the pain at bay Beauty also is kept just out of sight An adverse effect of the Universe's need for balance The agony I felt that night was beyond my capabilities to bear I sit alone in this cold hell My strength became my weakness How I hate a cliché The belief that no obstacle exists that I cannot overcome Causes the strength and comfort I need From those I hold most dear Heartbreakingly, absent I am not in the least overly self-critical But I have only recently acquired knowledge Known to so few Self-awareness brings pain Equally, it comforts Unfortunately My human nature Without acknowledging the benefit Frequently allows the hurt to overshadow any peaceful haven Doomed to remain hidden I seek stillness yet allow chaos to reign My fears have turned phobic Paralyzed I choke on the essence of tomorrow As my spirit rages Demanding a freedom only remembered in Whispers of forgotten dreams 02/2021