Emo Love

With this needle and thread I stitch the wounds Avril left but with this blade I angrily carve a new rough, short, jagged adjacent from the bone in my wrist for a reflection of our relationship and an outlet for the anger unable to release Then another upon my neck where she used to sweetly kiss fresh and clean, letting the blood fall slowly and peacefully as I fall to chaos on the inside Blue is the warmest color the words sting more than the knife I hesitantly hang above the vein I'm so desperate to cut How can something so warm become so bitter, so brutal I search the mirror for answers just to see her face instead piercing me, mocking me; a bonfire to laugh at a candle as she disappears in an array of fragments falling to sleep by the lullaby of the earthquake resounding from my fist Cradling my hand, tossing away the pain I collapse under the weight of my destruction a king of night slain by the queen of day as music, my magician, attempts to revive me installing hope while simultaneously shrouding me in defeat How can cupid so small shoot an arrow so mighty I curse the sky, it's betraying hue as I pray for night, praying for mercy falling asleep in the arms of sorrow protecting me... Where am I I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white, an illusion my world is pitch black and I can't open my eyes As I begin to panic, shaking the bars upon my heart for it to beat once again As I begin to panic beating upon the neurons while screaming, 'STIMULATE! ' As I begin to panic, kicking the glass in my iris to bring forth color a vibrant world in contrast to the island of grey I persist to escape a calmness washes over me a calm voice whispers so eloquently to me 'Hush thou art deceived come, follow the sound of my voice; come to me' Is this angel sent to guide me into a peaceful forever slumber or is she a temptress so beautiful I die at first sight She said I am deceived deceived by what, by who; I must know 'Hush thou art deceived come, follow the sound of my voice; come to me' That milky, honey echo so familiar so tantalizing, tangible; the feeling of invincibility to follow 'Hush thou art deceived come, follow the sound of my voice; come to me' That sound, that voice bouncing off the walls of my dreams I burst through to find a coffee shop teeming with no one but me Then, like a miracle of air, there the voice beholds a face a captivating beauty so perfect Her hair, a halo of pink lost in a maze of fields painted black Her eyes, twins pools of green, the most amazing I've ever seen that no words give release as I make my attempt to speak My mouth gains dust as my jaws begin to rust shut Then she smiles her cheeks produce dimples, her nose slightly scrunching yet it's still enough to make me melt me, now a puddle within my shoes She giggles and lifts me up I without a fuss as she sweeps me up in a hug With a voice to make Aphrodite jealous she whispers softly 'Hush thou art deceived, you are not in love with me but I in love with you so here take my hand I'll show you my world if I can to see if you understand' Puzzled I take her hand but I still don't understand my breath won't resurrect so I save the rest as she pokes my chest for her to hear me breathlessly ask her name She takes a step back with a small little laugh she grabs my hand as I realize where I stand Stunned and amazed I turn to run but the sight of a whale shakes me to the core the same frequency as I shake her shouting, 'WHY ARE WE ON THE OCEAN FLOOR? ! ' With a playful smile, she bothered to ask 'You've made castles by the shore, no? I know that we are more so let's make castles on the floor' With a gleeful jump, she began to work as my panic turns to curiosity, shaking my head in disbelief I join in, my mind in a tailspin I have a whirlwind of questions but they blow over with the ocean tide as she regails her tale of the other side a world unfamiliar yet she gains my intrigue with stories I can't compete Though silently I beg the question How am I deceived, this feels right to me How can this be wrong with her bright smile bringing me back to life She looks up at the wrong time, aware I'm elsewhere runs and jumps into my arms placing a phantom kiss upon my lips a stone fortress under siege by vulnerability With a phantom kiss I return to her realm amidst her question hanging in the air, 'Is anything amiss? ' I reply with a smile and a shake of my head asking for a simple change of scenery I have a request but it goes unheard a mouse on Christmas night; though I shake with slight fright as she gets my request just right I sprawl out on the grass, the night sky spread out a cluster of piercings mapping out my former source of glory now the orchestrator of my misery I wince with sudden grief, shedding tears of pain thought renounced pausing only to find the object of my current affection eyes brilliant pearls, mimicking the stars stoic beauty perched upon my lap; staring at me intently, intensely and without words asking who has wronged me so With words I cannot bear to voice that name so I pull her into my embrace her gaze away from the image of me, clutching what ails me in my hand till my knuckles turn white as snow then I let go letting the memory fade so I know it's true And with a sudden moment I look her square in the eyes for love is all I have inside as I ask her to sprout wings of butterflies with me black as a panther mixed with red of passion for me a costume of gold with a pink lining for her for she's perfect beyond reason I ask her to fly away with me to a galaxy outside the milky way Sadness in her eyes, she denies placing her finger upon my heart as she cries reviving my stilled heartbeat... Was it a dream or just my escape as my eyes flicker wide welcoming a world I don't recognize I try to sit up but I fall back a heavy sigh to escape my thoughts, 'Where is she' Like an owl, my head spins in a circle just to locate her presence but like a ghost arises her voice in my conscious 'Hush thou art deceived for I lied you are in love with me and I in love with you but we can only exist in your dreams' I know I should've savored every moment but what happens when every moment was an illusion to everyone, everyone but you