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Ding Dong, Texas

Met this gal from Ding Dong, Texas Had warts all over her bum I know because she showed me them I got up and started to run Her six foot twelve hulk of a brother Said, "Boy! Best ya sits y'self down!" I knew I should listen to brother Luke The meanest damn dude in town! So Anitabath, his ding-a-ling sister Cozied up and quietly whispered "How's if we have some fun in the hay?" I quivered at having to kiss her! I said okay as this ding-a-ling stripped I cringed at her wart covered bum Saw a chance and tried to scurry away But Luke was on guard with a gun! "Just where d'ya think yer goin', sonny?" As he blocked my escape with his brawn Just then I spotted a tiny opening Took off like a skitterish young fawn! I heard the ominous crack of his rifle Felt around but could feel no pain Got into my pick-up and took off like a shot Never gone near Ding Dong again! There's definitely a moral in this sad little tale Don't hang out in a bar in Ding Dong Less you're ready for some Texas hospitality Say, "So long, sayonara, I'm gone"! © Jack Ellison 2012

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Laura Breidenthal

Date: 12/7/2022 2:05:00 PM

This one is HILARIOUS :D Never heard of Ding Dong Texas, but it makes sense that something like this would happen there. Very imaginative and fun piece, Jack. Always, Laura

Sukmawati Komala

Date: 12/23/2012 12:20:00 AM

Dear Jack.. you've lightened up readers day with your great share...enjoyed it so very much :) Merry Christmas Jack..may your days be merry and jolly :) <3<3<3

Jack Ellison
Date: 12/23/2012 4:04:00 AM

What a sweet review, my dear friend! Thanks you and I wish you a very Merry Christmas too! Love Jack xox

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/22/2012 6:16:00 PM

this one was great fun! with a bum. haha

Jack Ellison
Date: 12/22/2012 6:21:00 PM

Had fun with this one. There really is a town in Texas called Ding Dong! LOL You can look it up! Love and hugs, Jack xxx

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 12/22/2012 5:44:00 PM

I was bothe entertained and grossed out at the same time. Some how I could not look away. Merry Christmas Jack

Jack Ellison
Date: 12/22/2012 5:50:00 PM

It's like passing a traffic accident... you can't help looking for blood! LOL

Rollo West

Date: 12/22/2012 12:18:00 PM

What a great write Jack, enjoyed it a lot. Rollo

Jack Ellison
Date: 12/22/2012 4:22:00 PM

Glad you liked Rollo! Best wishes for the Christmas season, Jack

Carol Eastman

Date: 12/22/2012 11:33:00 AM

Jack yout hilarious! Definate funny bone tickler!

Jack Ellison
Date: 12/22/2012 4:21:00 PM

Love tickling funny bones... one of my favourite pastimes! Love ya! Jake xox

Russell Sivey

Date: 12/22/2012 9:25:00 AM

I lived in Texas for almost 20 years and I never heard of Ding Dong Texas until you wrote this poem, this is hilarious my friend! I would've hated to be in that situation that you were in within this story! This is a fascinating and delightfully funny piece, Great Work!!

Jack Ellison
Date: 12/22/2012 4:20:00 PM

Did a search on Google for some strange sounding town names in the U.S. There's some pretty weird ones out there! LOL Had fun with this one my friend! Cheers, Jack

Toquyen Harrell

Date: 12/22/2012 8:55:00 AM

Lol, oh my gosh, too funny, Jack. That's what you get for wandering into unknown places. That's Texas hospitality for ya. They said "it's like another country out here", don't you know? Love it. Too good.

Jack Ellison
Date: 12/22/2012 4:17:00 PM

"it's like another country out here"... I've heard that and I believe it! LOL Love ya, Jack xox