Deluge of Despair

Invited to a wedding, loafing around in the crowd Surrounded by laughter and compliments loud All the handsome men enjoying enviable lives Having adorable children and beautiful wives Like a stranger, far be it from me to deny I stand heartbroken but not able to cry I suffer from depression and anxiety disorder Hence my fiancée gave me her marching order To my long time job I was forced to say goodbye Umpteen times to no avail I did supply And it seems it doesn't matter how hard I try I just feel empty and I still cannot cry I am lying in bed too troubled to sleep Constant worries and fears make my flesh creep My heart is racing and I don't wonder why Tormenting thoughts confuse and horrify My sheet is sweaty but my eyes remain dry I just feel numb and I still cannot cry Surges of sadness, deluge of despair My poor health requires permanent medical care Can´t call a friend, they have other fish to fry There's still no trace of one tear in my eye Even if it means being awake all night I give up resistance and finish to fight With the first sunray I come to terms with my fate I accept reality and my current state Find peace of mind and spontaneously decide My prolonged illnesses I won't longer hide I wait in silence until the pain passes by Listen to a blackbird - and then finally cry 08/24/2022 Strong Emotions Poetry Contest Sponsored by Emile Pinet Emotion I picked to write about: despair I´m not a native speaker, so I cordially invite other members to send me suggestions for improvement. Thank you very much!